How emotionally intelligent are you? .

Ibukunoluwa Fola-Bolumole
2 min readOct 21, 2017
ouch

It took forever for me to differentiate being a blunt person from being a flat-out rude one, I was insensitive and always masked my insensitivity with being ‘truthful’. ‘Anyways its the truth so you can take it however you like’ kinda rude, zero emotional intelligence and zero tolerance for being told the truth in like manner. Something about people who believe they are painfully truthful is the fact that they can’t take half of the things they give.

They don’t converse, they don’t appreciate dialogue especially when it is highly corrective, the truth is piercing to a blunt person, they are so fast to tell you to shut the fuck up, and believe me I was that person, and still working towards improving myself. Finding you flaws would either make you one of these things, accepting to change or being dismissive of change and wanting to wallow in the filth of a terrible attitude, it honestly stinks to find out you are a bad person, sometimes you spend so much time in denial trying to justify all the times you were blunt and ‘truthful’.

The importance of emotional intelligence cannot be over emphasized especially in the society we live in, in the work place, in your interaction with your colleagues, your tutors, your mates as well. The tone you deliver a message in is very vital in communication, folly is when you justify you tone by saying ‘I’m responsible for what I say, not for how you understand what I say’ as an intelligent person whatever you communicate intelligently should be understood in the exact extent of the context of the message.

When you constantly have to apologize for everything you say or when you blatantly refuse to apologize for the things you said means you need to improve on your mode of communication, means you have to be more careful and precise with the words you speak, the things you say to people matter highly with how people would want to interact with you and the extent to which they would want to relate with you and how often they would want to be around you.

In a quest to being more emotionally intelligent you can fake it till you make it, think of the things you are about to say before you say them, don’t speak too fast, don’t be to excited/anxious to reply people, it’s okay to be quiet when every other person is talking till you are sure of what you want to say. Emotional intelligence doesn’t only help with social interaction, it improves your decision making as you have more control over your emotions, in relationships, in friendships, in your work place and with your mates.

You aren’t a shit friend, or a terrible band-aid, you aren’t just emotionally intelligent yet.

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